Laws are written to keep stupid people from doing stupid things, and by “stupid things” I mean “things I don’t like.”
Perfect example, you can’t smoke in a private bar in Ohio because a bunch of people decided they don’t like it. Never mind the fact that it’s a privilege to go to a bar, not a right. Never mind that if someone really had cared enough they could’ve opened their own smoke-free bar. Besides, you’re stupid if you smoke. Nope, I don’t like smoke, so you’re not allowed. By the way, please buy another pack of cigs so kids can keep their state-run health care, okay?
What if you wanted to get a lap dance at a strip club? That’s illegal for you own good. Educated people decided that you shouldn’t be allowed to help a single mother of six get through beauty academy by giving her five bucks for a little gyration to Kid Rock’s “Bawitdaba.” It’s apparently immoral and a few people in the Ohio Legislature decided the entire industry should be crippled. Besides, you’re stupid if you like strip clubs. I don’t agree with exotic dancing, so you shouldn’t be allowed to see it.
I’m running for city council president in Marion, and I can’t wait to get elected. I’m going to author so many new ordinances that Marion will be the safest and smartest city in Ohio! I’ll make sure my city realizes that I’m the only thing keeping them alive. Then, my legacy will be complete, and I can just sit back and look out among my adoring, responsible, smart, fans. As we all know, it’s the law that keeps people from being stupid, and you LOLbertarians are apparently a bunch of anarchists or something..
First thing I plan to do is ban sarcasm. I don’t like it. Also, go to http://www.spencerphelpsdotcom.com/ for more sass and donations!
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